Chicken Nuggets Tho

Ask me Stuff!You are so basic you are a 14 on the Ph scale

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midgaydian:

u will be missed tim hodlestan :’(

2 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 64,360 notes
prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 15,720 notes
to-b-or-not-221b:

This is the best thing I have heard all week.

to-b-or-not-221b:

This is the best thing I have heard all week.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 3,660 notes

eggsus:

officialpollen:

celebrities that get more shit than they should:

  • nicki minaj
  • ke$ha
  • miley cyrus
  • lorde
  • lindsay lohan
  • taylor swift

celebrities that don’t get enough shit:

  • justin bieber
  • nash grier
  • justin bieber

notice how the first list is all women leading the industry. notice how the second list is two teenage boys who think they run shit but they’re hurting people.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 267,772 notes
plightofthevalkyries:

amischiefofmice:

PRAISE BE

When I worked at a fast food restaurant, I did a social experiment.
One day, I asked “do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?” No one went against gender roles.
The next day, it was “do you want a doll toy or a car toy?” Boys got dolls. Girls got cars.
Vocabulary is important.

plightofthevalkyries:

amischiefofmice:

PRAISE BE

When I worked at a fast food restaurant, I did a social experiment.

One day, I asked “do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?” No one went against gender roles.

The next day, it was “do you want a doll toy or a car toy?” Boys got dolls. Girls got cars.

Vocabulary is important.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 208,168 notes

alilfallofrain:

raggedyanndy:

thispleasesmorbo:

spellboundsama:

THAT IS GORGEOUS

heterochromia is one of the coolest aesthetics the human body can muster

a very groovy mutation

Thank you, Charles Xavier.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 429,965 notes
christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.
Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.
The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.


Reblogging for excellent commentary.

christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.

Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.

The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

image

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

Reblogging for excellent commentary.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 278,143 notes
lady-tyrell:

enjolux:

theplaceinsidetheblizzard:

elgin-marbles:

coleytangerina:

Some graffiti found in Pompeii’s ruins: 
Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates.
I screwed the barmaid.
Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here.
I screwed a lot of girls here.
Sollemnes, you screw well!
Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog.
Nice to see nothing has changed.


There is a website with all of the graffiti

I love this.




I am laughing so hard


someone basically wrote “secundus is gay” on the wall humankind has not changed at all

lady-tyrell:

enjolux:

theplaceinsidetheblizzard:

elgin-marbles:

coleytangerina:

Some graffiti found in Pompeii’s ruins: 

  • Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
  • Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates.
  • I screwed the barmaid.
  • Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here.
  • I screwed a lot of girls here.
  • Sollemnes, you screw well!
  • Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog.

Nice to see nothing has changed.

image

There is a website with all of the graffiti

I love this.

I am laughing so hard

image

someone basically wrote “secundus is gay” on the wall humankind has not changed at all

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 201,096 notes
Can you PLEASE stop posting Jayden Smith. He's a fucking idiot and seeing all of it is making me sick. Don't fuck up your blog.

Anonymous

joshpeckofficial-deactivated201:

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 22,121 notes

littlecatlady:

today 11yr old brother wanted us to go outside and play with his BB gun but their dad wasn’t around, so I was like “idk, maybe we shouldn’t use it without adult supervision”

and he just stared at me and I realized

I am 20

I am an adult

I am the adult supervision

??!?!?!

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 207,608 notes

dustinmathisen:

ptgreat:

nickcarragay:

petition to make young adult authors stop writing about girls whose lives change when they meet a boy

When she saw him time slowed to a stop.  He was so perfect and she knew her life would never be the same because she had finally found him.  The one.  The first boy she would ever kill.

image

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 712,244 notes
3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 235,748 notes

We really don’t need a man to protect us.

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 3,474 notes
madmadsmadly:

eziocauthon89:

If you say you didn’t read this in his accent, you’re a liar

"his accent" if you didnt read it in the exact same goddamn voice and tone and think of the way his head turned you’re a goddamn disgrace

madmadsmadly:

eziocauthon89:

If you say you didn’t read this in his accent, you’re a liar

"his accent" if you didnt read it in the exact same goddamn voice and tone and think of the way his head turned you’re a goddamn disgrace

3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 154,241 notes
3 hours ago on August 22nd, 2014 | J | 223,434 notes